MUHAMMAD’S MISTREATMENT OF HIS WIVES
God’s Word, the Torah, indicates that YHWH permitted a man to have more than wife under the condition that he treated them all fairly and equally. YHWH warned men that if they failed to give a wife her conjugal rights and necessary provisions then they were in violation of their marital vows. As such, the wife was free to go since the marriage was now dissolved/terminated:
“And if a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do.If she is displeasing in the eyes of her master who designated her for himself, then he shall let her be redeemed. He does not have authority to sell her to a foreign people because of his treachery to her. And if he designates her for his son, he shall do to her according to the custom of daughters. If he takes for himself another woman, he may not reduce her food, her clothing, or her conjugal rights. And if he will not do these three things for her, then she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.” Exodus 21:7-11 Legacy Standard Bible (LSB)
Muhammad’s deity, on the other hand, permits his followers to mistreatment their wives and gives the women the option of remaining in such an unfair situation if they so choose!
And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better. And human inner-selves are swayed by greed. But if you do good and keep away from evil, verily, Allah is Ever Well Acquainted with what you do. You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is Ever Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. But if they separate (by divorce), Allah will provide abundance for everyone of them from His Bounty. And Allah is Ever All-Sufficient for His creatures’ need, All-Wise. S. 4:128-130 Hilali-Khan
According to the Muslim sources, Q. 4:128-130 specifically v. 128, was addressing Muhammad’s failure as a husband, particularly in reference to his treatment of Sauda bint Zam’ah.
The Islamic references indicate that Sauda was one of his first wives after Khadijah’s death. And yet, shamefully, Muhammad decided to divorce and desert her when he was no longer attracted to her due to her old age.
Not wanting to be divorced, Sauda decided to strike a deal with Muhammad that she would forfeit the day assigned to her and give it to Aisha instead, provided he would still keep her as his wife. Muhammad and his god accepted Sauda’s proposal!
For example, here’s what the renowned Sunni commentator Ibn Kathir wrote in this respect:
Making peace is better than separation. An example of such peace can be felt in the story of Sawdah bint Zam’ah who WHEN SHE BECAME AGED, THE PROPHET WANTED TO DIVORCE HER, but she made peace with him by offering the night he used to spend with her to A’isha so that he would keep her. The Prophet accepted such terms and kept her.
Abu Dawud At-Tayalisi recorded that Ibn ‘Abbas said, “Sawdah feared that the Messenger of Allah might divorce her and she said, ‘O Messenger of Allah! Do not divorce me; give my day to ‘A’ishah.’ And he did…
In the Two Sahihs, it is recorded that ‘A’ishah said that when Sawdah bint Zam’ah BECAME OLD, she forfeited her day to ‘A’ishah and the Prophet used to spend Sawdah’s night with ‘A’ishah…
<And making peace is better>. IT REFERS TO THE WIFE RELINQUISHING SOME OF HER MARITAL RIGHTS and his acceptance of the offer. Such compromise is better than total divorce, as the Prophet did when retained Sawdah bint Zam’ah. By doing so, the Prophet set an example for his Ummah to follow as it is a lawful act … (the preceding citation taken and adapted from Tafsir Ibn Kathir – Abridged, Volume 2, Parts 3, 4 & 5, Surat Al-Baqarah, Verse 253, to Surat An-Nisa, Verse 147 [Darussalam Publishers & Distributors, Riyadh, Houston, New York, Lahore; first edition March 2000], pp. 599-601, and Tafsir Ibn Kathir, Part 5, Sura An-Nisa, ayat 24-147, abridged by Sheikh Muhammad Nasib Ar-Rafa’i [Al-Firdous Ltd., London, 2000 first edition], pp. 193-194; bold and capital emphasis mine)
One recent Muslim author says in a caption that:
Muhammad’s personal and family life were not always smooth. His wives sometimes bickered amongst themselves and even once engaged in a petty plot against him. A’ishah, for example, disliked her Jewish co-wife, Safiyah, and insulted her periodically. Muhammad had to defend her status and honor a number of times and scold the youthful A’ishah. Hafsah became jealous of her co-wife, Maria, when she found her and Muhammad resting[sic] in her apartment one day. Sawdah gave up her allotted day with the Prophet WHEN SHE REALIZED HE WAS NOT REALLY ATTRACTED TO HER. As for the conspiracy, A’ishah agreed with two other co-wives to convince the Prophet that eating honey made him unpleasant to be around. When Muhammad vowed to never eat honey again, she privately repented to her co-conspirators. Though these incidents were not the norm, they demonstrate that the women in Muhammad’s life were as human as the rest of us. (Yahiya Emerick, Critical Lives: Muhammad [Alpha Books, A Member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 2002], p. 263; capital emphasis mine) {2}
Muslim historian and commentator Al-Tabari stated that:
Umra bin Ali & Zaid bin Ahram said: second by Abu Dawud, said: second by Sulaiman bin Mu’ath, from Simak bin Harb, from Ikrimah, from Ibn Abbas, said: Saudah feared divorce by the messenger of Allah, so she said: Do not divorce me, and do not share with me! And he did, and this verse was revealed: And if a woman fears ill usage or desertion on the part of her husband.
Muhammad bin Husain said: He claimed that this verse came down in reference to the messenger of Allah, and Saudah bint Zama’h who became old, then the messenger of Allah wanted to divorce her, but they agreed that he will keep her but give her day to Ai’sha. (Translated by Mutee’a Al-Fadi)
Another reputable Muslim expositor Al-Qurtubi wrote:
In this verse there are four issues: the first, Al-Tirmidhi told that Ibn Abbas said: Saudah feared that the messenger of Allah will divorce her so she said, “Do not divorce me and keep me, and give my day with you to Ai’sha.” He did and this verse came down: “there is no blame on them, if they effect a reconciliation between them, and reconciliation is better.” He said: this is a good and strange hadith. (Translated by Mutee’a Al-Fadi)
The two Sahih collections provide additional corroboration for Sauda relinquishing her day to Aisha:
Narrated Aisha:
Whenever Allah’s Apostle wanted to go on a journey, he would draw lots as to which of his wives would accompany him. He would take her whose name came out. He used to fix for each of them a day and a night. But Sauda bint Zam’a gave up her (turn) day and night to ‘Aisha, the wife of the Prophet in order to seek the pleasure of Allah’s Apostle (by that action). (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 766 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2593)
‘A’isha reported: Never did I find any woman more loving to me than Sauda bint Zam’a. I wished I could be exactly like her who was passionate. As she became old, she had made over her day (which she had to spend) with Allah’s Messenger to ‘A’isha. She said: I have made over my day with you to ‘A’isha. So Allah’s Messenger allotted TWO DAYS to ‘A’isha, her own day (when it was her turn) and that of Sauda. (Sahih Muslim, Book 008, Number 3451 https://sunnah.com/muslim:1463a)
The Salafi scholars that write for http://www.islamqa.com cite references agreeing that Q. 4:128 referred to Muhammad’s mistreatment of Sauda:
Al-Tirmidhi reported via Sammaak from ‘Ikrimah from Ibn ‘Abbaas that he said: “Sawdah was afraid that the Messenger of Allaah would divorce her, so she said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, do not divorce me; give my day to ‘Aa’ishah.’ So he did so. Then this aayah was revealed.” Al-Tirmidhi said: “(This is) hasan ghareeb.” I say: there is corroborating evidence in a hadeeth from ‘Aa’ishah narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim, without referring to the revelation of the aayah. (From Fath al-Baari).
The hadeeth mentioned by al-Haafiz ibn Hijr is in Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 2966, where it is reported that Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Sawdah was afraid that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would divorce her, so she said: ‘Do not divorce me. Keep me and give my day to ‘Aa’ishah.’ So he did so, then Allaah revealed the aayah: ‘… there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. So whatever they agreed upon was permissible.” It is as if the last sentence was the comment of Ibn ‘Abbaas. Abu ‘Iesa said: this is a hasan ghareeb hadeeth.
Al-Mubaarakpoori said, commenting on this hadeeth:
‘Sawdah was afraid…’ This refers to Sawdah bint Zam’ah ibn Qays al-Qurashiyyah al-‘Aamiriyyah. The Messenger of Allaah married her in Makkah after Khadeejah had died, and consummated the marriage there. The scholars agree that he consummated his marriage to her before he consummated his marriage to ‘Aa’ishah, and she migrated to Madeenah with him. She died at the end of the khilaafah of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab.
‘… was afraid that the Prophet would divorce her, so she said…’ Al-Bukhaari and Muslim reported from ‘Aa’ishah that Sawdah bint Zam’ah gave her day to ‘Aa’ishah, so the Prophet used to give ‘Aa’ishah her own day and that of Sawdah. Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: Abu Dawood reported this hadeeth (from ‘Aa’ishah): ‘The Messenger of Allaah never used to prefer any of us over others in sharing his time (i.e., he was fair in dividing his nights among his wives, and each one of them had her allotted night). When Sawdah bint Zam’ah grew old and feared that the Messenger of Allaah might divorce her, she said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my day is for ‘Aa’ishah,’ and he accepted this from her. Then concerning this and similar cases, the aayah was revealed (interpretation of the meaning): ‘And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part…’ [al-Nisaa’ 4:128]. These reports agree that she feared divorce and so gave her day to ‘Aa’ishah.
Then al-‘Allaamah al-Mubaraakpoori said: The aayah may be explained thus: ‘If a woman fears’ means if she expects. ‘Cruelty’ means that he spurns her by refusing to sleep with her or by spending less on her than he should, because he dislikes her and wants to marry someone more beautiful. ‘Desertion’ means that he turns his face away from her. ‘There is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves’ means with regard to the sharing of his time and his spending on her, i.e., he should still give her something in this regard (sharing time or spending) in order to preserve the relationship: if she accepts, this is OK, otherwise the husband must either give her full rights or divorce her. ‘Making peace is better’ means better than separation, cruelty and desertion. Whatever they agree upon between themselves is permissible.
(Tuhfat al-Ahwadi Sharh Jaami’ al-Tirmidhi). (Question #2218: A man doesn’t want to live with his wife but doesn’t want to divorce her for the sake of the children https://islamqa.info/en/answers/2218/a-man-doesnt-want-to-live-with-his-wife-but-doesnt-want-to-divorce-her-for-the-sake-of-the-children; bold emphasis ours)
Not only was Sauda said to be old, but other narrations mention her being overweight as well:
Narrated Aisha:
Sauda (the wife of the Prophet) went out to answer the call of nature after it was made obligatory (for all the Muslims ladies) to observe the veil. She was a fat huge lady, and everybody who knew her before could recognize her. So ‘Umar bin Al-Khattab saw her and said, “O Sauda! By Allah, you cannot hide yourself from us, so think of a way by which you should not be recognized on going out.” Sauda returned while Allah’s Apostle was in my house taking his supper and a bone covered with meat was in his hand. She entered and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! I went out to answer the call of nature and ‘Umar said to me so-and-so.” Then Allah inspired him (the Prophet) and when the state of inspiration was over and the bone was still in his hand as he had not put in down, he said (to Sauda), “You (women) have been allowed to go out for your needs.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Numebr 318 https://www.searchtruth.com/book_display.php?book=60&translator=1&start=0&number=318)
How despicable and cruel!
The foregoing makes it embarrassingly obvious that Muhammad wanted to divorce Sauda because she had gotten old and had become unattractive, a point confirmed by the above hadith’s graphic depiction of her as “a fat huge lady.” Sauda, in order to prevent this from happening, chose to make certain concessions such as relinquishing her day with Muhammad, to which Allah gave his divine approval!
Moreover, this handing over of Sauda’s visitation to Aisha meant that Muhammad preferred the latter and loved her more than the rest of his spouses. After all, Muhammad ended up spending two days with Aisha whereas all the rest of his wives only had one day to spend with him (with the exception of Sauda). Thus, Muhammad was being quite intentional in his unfair treatment of his wives and display of love.
A further indication of Muhammad’s inability to treat his wives fairly is seen from his separating them into two groups. One group of wives he would sleep with more often, while the other group he would put off having sex with them. He would only have sex with this other group whenever he wished, not when they wished. Noted linguist and commentator Al-Zamakhshari wrote the following regarding this issue:
It is related that the Prophet (refrained from sexual intercourse and) put off temporarily the following wives: Sauda, Juwairiya. Safiyya, Maimuna, and Umm Habiba. In so doing he used to grant them a share (of sexual intercourse) according TO HIS WISH. Among the wives whom the Prophet preferred to take to himself belong ‘A’isha, Hafsa, Umm Salama, and Zainab (bint Jash). Thus, he used to put five off temporarily in order to take four to himself. (On the other hand) it is related that, disregarding divorce and the selection concerned with it, the Prophet treated (all his wives) the same, with the exception of Sauda, who relinquished the night belonging to her to ‘A’isha and said (to the Prophet): ‘Do not divorce me but let me remain in the company of your wives!’… (Helmut Gätje, The Qur’an and Its Exegesis, translated and edited by Alford T. Welch [Oneworld Publications, Oxford England], pp. 90-91; bold and capital emphasis mine)
Even the wives noticed Muhammad’s partial and unfair treatment, being clearly aware that he loved one particular wife more than the others. This moved them to jealousy and strife:
Narrated ‘Urwa from ‘Aisha:
The wives of Allah’s Apostle were in two groups. One group consisted of ‘Aisha, Hafsa, Safiyya and Sauda; and the other group consisted of Um Salama and the other wives of Allah’s Apostle. The Muslims knew that Allah’s Apostle loved ‘Aisha, so if any of them had a gift and wished to give to Allah’s Apostle, he would delay it, till Allah’s Apostle had come to ‘Aisha’s home and then he would send his gift to Allah’s Apostle in her home. The group of Um Salama discussed the matter together and decided that Um Salama should request Allah’s Apostle to tell the people to send their gifts to him in whatever wife’s house he was.
Um Salama told Allah’s Apostle of what they had said, but he did not reply. Then they (those wives) asked Um Salama about it. She said, “He did not say anything to me.” They asked her to talk to him again. She talked to him again when she met him on her day, but he gave no reply. When they asked her, she replied that he had given no reply. They said to her, “Talk to him till he gives you a reply.” When it was her turn, she talked to him again. He then said to her, “Do not hurt me regarding Aisha, AS THE DIVINE INSPIRATIONS DO NOT COME TO ME ON ANY OF THE BEDS EXCEPT THAT OF AISHA.” On that Um Salama said, “I repent to Allah for hurting you.”
Then the group of Um Salama called Fatima, the daughter of Allah’s Apostle and sent her to Allah’s Apostle to say to him, “Your wives request to treat them and the daughter of Abu Bakr ON EQUAL TERMS.” Then Fatima conveyed the message to him. The Prophet said, “O my daughter! Don’t you love whom I love?” She replied in the affirmative and returned and told them of the situation. They requested her to go to him again but she refused. They then sent Zainab bint Jahsh who went to him AND USED HARSH WORDS SAYING, “Your wives request you TO TREAT THEM and the daughter of Ibn Abu Quhafa ON EQUAL TERMS.” On that she raised her voice AND ABUSED ‘Aisha TO HER FACE so much so that Allah’s Apostle looked at ‘Aisha to see whether she would retort. ‘Aisha started replying to Zainab till she silenced her. The Prophet then looked at ‘Aisha and said, “She is really the daughter of Abu Bakr.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 47, Number 755 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2581)
Umar gave this advice to his daughter Hafsa, one of Muhammad’s wives:
… Then ‘Umar went on relating the narration and said. “I and an Ansari neighbor of mine from Bani Umaiya bin Zaid who used to live in ‘Awali Al-Medina, used to visit the Prophet in turns. He used to go one day, and I another day. When I went I would bring him the news of what had happened that day regarding the instructions and orders and when he went, he used to do the same for me. We, the people of Quraish, used to have authority over women, but when we came to live with the Ansar, we noticed that the Ansari women had the upper hand over their men, so our women started acquiring the habits of the Ansari women. Once I shouted at my wife and she paid me back in my coin and I disliked that she should answer me back. She said, ‘Why do you take it ill that I retort upon you? By Allah, the wives of the Prophet retort upon him, and some of them may not speak with him for the whole day till night.’ What she said scared me and I said to her, ‘Whoever amongst them does so, will be a great loser.’
Then I dressed myself and went to Hafsa and asked her, ‘Does any of you keep Allah’s Apostle angry all the day long till night?’ She replied in the affirmative. I said, ‘She is a ruined losing person (and will never have success)! Doesn’t she fear that Allah may get angry for the anger of Allah’s Apostle and thus she will be ruined? Don’t ask Allah’s Apostle too many things, and don’t retort upon him in any case, and don’t desert him. Demand from me whatever you like, and don’t be tempted to imitate your neighbor (i.e. ‘Aisha) in her behavior towards the Prophet), for she (i.e. Aisha) IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU, AND MORE BELOVED to Allah’s Apostle. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 3, Book 43, Number 648 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:2468)
Narrated Ibn ‘Abbas:
that ‘Umar entered upon Hafsa and said, “O my daughter! Do not be misled by the manners of her who is proud of her beauty because of the love of Allah’s Apostle for her.” By ‘her’ he meant ‘Aisha. ‘Umar added, “Then I told that to Allah’s Apostle and he smiled (on hearing that).” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 145 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:5218)
Muhammad’s wives complained about his preferential treatment of Aisha and demanded to be treated equally. Instead of acquiescing to their demands, Muhammad justified his preferential treatment by claiming that divine revelations came to him on no other bed except Aisha’s! If Muhammad was correct this meant that Allah himself distinguished Aisha’s bed from the rest, thereby implying that it was actually Allah who caused Muhammad to expressly break the supposed divine command of being fair with all of one’s wives.
More importantly, Muslims claim that Muhammad’s marriages were, for the most part, consummated for political reasons, to solidify relationships with his companions or certain tribes. Yet this is not the reason stated by some of the older Muslim references:
… Sahl at-Tustari said, “Women were loved by the Master of the Messengers, so how could we abstain from them?” Ibn Uyayna says something to the same effect.
The most ascetic of the Companions had a lot of wives and salve-girls and had much sexual intercourse with them. More than one of them disliked the idea of meeting Allah unmarried. (Qadi ‘Iyad Musa al-Yahsubi, Muhammad Messenger of Allah (Ash-Shifa of Qadi ‘Iyad), translated by Aisha Abdarrahman Bewley [Madinah Press, Inverness, Scotland, U.K. 1991; third reprint, paperback], p. 46; bold emphasis mine)
He said, “He made me love, in this world of yours, WOMEN and scent, and the coolness of my eye (i.e. my delight) is in the prayer,” and then he indicated that his love was for women and scent which are worldly things for other people whereas his occupation with them was not for this worldly life, but rather for the life of the Next World because of the otherworldly benefits of marriage already mentioned and his desire to come to the angels wearing scent. Scent also encourages intercourse, assists it and stimulates it. He loved these two qualities for the sake of others and for the restraint of his appetite. His true love, particular to him, lay in witnessing the Jabarut of his Lord and intimate conversation with Him. That is why he made a distinction between the two loves and separated the two conditions, saying, “and the delight of my eye is in the prayer.”
Yahya and ‘Isa were on the same level regarding the trial of women. However, there is an extra virtue in satisfying women’s needs. The Prophet was among those who have given the ability to do so and he was given it in abundance. This is why he was allowed a greater number of wives than anyone else.
It is related from Anas, “The Prophet used to visit his wives in one hour of the day or night, and there were eleven of them.”
Anas said, “We used to say he had been given the power of thirty men.” Something similar was related from Abu Rafi’. Tawus said, “The Prophet was given the power of forty men in intercourse.” A similar statement came from Safwan ibn Sulaym.
Salama, the female client of the Prophet, said, “The Prophet would go around in the night to nine wives and purify himself from each of them before going to the next. He said, ‘This is better and purer.’”
The Prophet Sulayman said, “I went around in the night to a hundred or ninety-nine women.” So he had that capacity as well. Ibn ‘Abbas said, “There was the semen of a hundred men in the loins of Sulayman, and he had three hundred wives and three hundred slave-girls.” An-Naqqash and others related that he had seven hundred wives and three hundred slave-girls.
In the hadith of Anas, the Prophet said, “I have been preferred over people in four things: generosity, courage, MUCH INTERCOURSE and great power.” (Ibid., pp. 47-48; bold and capital emphasis mine)
The above reference unashamedly admits that the reason Muhammad was permitted to have more wives is because of his very strong sex drive!
The preceding factors present Allah as a deity who had nothing better to do than to please Muhammad’s desires. Allah’s primary focus, it seems, was to grant Muhammad his desires and wishes, an observation which even Muhammad’s child bride made. Aisha said by way of mocking:
Narrated Aisha:
I used to look down upon those ladies who had given themselves to Allah’s Apostle and I used to say, “Can a lady give herself (to a man)?” But when Allah revealed: “You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives), and you may receive any of them whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).” (33.51) I said (to the Prophet), “I feel that your Lord hastens in fulfilling your wishes and desires.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 311 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:4788)
In light of all the data which we have presented, it is very hard to disagree with Aisha’s assessment of Muhammad’s special privileges.
Aisha also made an interesting comment which helps reveal her true feelings and the sadness she felt because of Muhammad’s conjugal favors:
Narrated Muadha:
‘Aisha said, “Allah’s Apostle used to take the permission of that wife with whom he was supposed to stay overnight if he wanted to go to one other than her, after this Verse was revealed:–
‘You (O Muhammad) can postpone (the turn of) whom you will of them (your wives) and you may receive any (of them) whom you will; and there is no blame on you if you invite one whose turn you have set aside (temporarily).'” (33.51) I asked Aisha, “What did you use to say (in this case)?” She said, “I used to say to him, ‘If I could deny you the permission (to go to your other wives) I would not allow your favor to be bestowed on any other person.'” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 6, Book 60, Number 312 https://sunnah.com/bukhari:4789)
The foregoing clearly highlights the fact that Muhammad was a failure as a husband whose god allowed him to both ignore and mistreat any of his wives he so desired.
As such, Muhammad stands condemned by the true God of Moses as an immoral, sensual misogynist and son of Belial.
FURTHER READING
THE TORAH CONDEMNS MUHAMMAD PT. 2, PT. 3
Muhammad’s Treatment of Sauda Bint Zamah
Muhammad and the treatment of wives
Muhammad’s Marriage to Safiyyah: A Case Study in Allah’s Mercy, Round 2, Round 3 (Part 1, Part 2)
Barra: Juwayriyyah’s Original Name or Nickname?
The Dissatisfaction of Muhammad’s Wives: Being a Response to Zawadi’s Challenge, Round 2
Muhammad the Womanizing Sensualist
The Prophet of Sensuality and Inconsistency
MUHAMMAD: AN IMMORAL ADULTEROUS MISOGYNIST
Answering Islam Blog 
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